Pathfinder's Parenting Tasks
1.0 Conception
Pathfinders make sure that the child is being conceived:
1.1 By a couple who are in a committed permanent relationship
1.2 As a product of a planned pregnancy
1.3 As a child wanted by both parents
1.4 In the body of a physically healthy mother
1.5 As a cooperative project of two mentally healthy parents
1.6 In a tender, loving fashion, and in a moment of love exchange between loving partners
1.7 By two personally responsible people with healthy self‑esteem
1.8 By parents who have the financial means to provide for the survival and safety needs of their child
1.9 By parents who will seek out medical attention during the pregnancy
2.0 Pregnancy
Pathfinders make sure that during the pregnancy the child is being:
2.1 Provided a healthy womb environment
2.2 Provided adequate nourishment in the womb
2.3 Monitored and attended to by medical professionals with both parents' participation
2.4 A shared event by two loving, excited, and caring parents
2.5 Spoken to and touched by both parents while in the womb
2.6 Provided an emotionally sound and stress-free womb
2.7 Prepared for by both parents working together to set up space in the house for the new arrival
2.8 Anticipated by both parents who are jointly learning about and exercising for the birthing process
2.9 Cared for to insure a full term birth
3.0 Birth
Pathfinders attempt to make sure that the birth of the child is one where:
3.1 Labor and delivery is a shared parental experience which has been previously dress rehearsed
3.2 Labor and delivery is an event in which steps have been taken to avoid surprises or medical crises for both parents and child if possible
3.3 It is a result of a medically healthy delivery
3.4 There are good APGAR scores and normal birth weight
3.5 Child is at full gestational age
3.6 It is a welcomed, joyful, and greatly relished event for both parents
3.7 It is a welcomed, joyful, and greatly celebrated arrival into the extended families of both parents
3.8 All costs of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and nursery stay are pre-paid or covered by date of birth, so that no large medical bills remain once child comes home
3.9 It is followed by arrival to the home, which is fully prepared and waiting for new family member
4.0 Birth to 2 years
Pathfinders make sure that the infant experiences the following:
4.1 Welcomed and accepted into new family by all siblings and other extended family members in home
4.2 Sibling rivalry exhibited by older siblings, addressed, and handled in a healthy way
4.3 Self-awareness of self, body, and needs encouraged
4.4 Healthy and harmonious relationships with others reinforced as important skill to acquire
4.5 Identification as self as different from others encouraged
4.6 Characteristics which account for differences between people pointed out
4.7 Accurate identification of body parts and other identifying characteristics encouraged
4.8 Read to and surrounded in an envelope of verbal sounds to encourage expressing verbally, and non-verbally, wants and needs
4.9 Receive verbal and non-verbal messages of recognition and positive acceptance
4.10 Allowed to express feelings openly and taught words and gestures to assist in their expression
4.11 Limits set in a babyproofed home as to where exploration and free play are allowed
4.12 Harmonious relationships between parents and other family members exhibited
4.13 Adequate physical touch provided to give warmth, acceptance, and cared for messages
4.14 Adequate mutual emotional attachment between child and both parents
4.15 Experience of unconditional love from both parents
4.16 Sense of security and trust developed between child and both parents
4.17 Emotional intimacy and closeness established between child and both parents
4.18 Development of a sense of belonging in family
4.19 Development of sense of being wanted in family
4.20 Establishment of bonding with parents and family
5.02 to 5 years
Pathfinders encourage the preschool age child to experience the following:
5.1 Acquisition of skills of self-care including: feeding, grooming, toileting, personal hygiene, and clothing
5.2 Acquisition of communications skills to verbally explain and describe self needs, reactions, feelings, and desires
5.3 Recognition of appropriateness of actions in relationships with others
5.4 Acceptance of personal responsibility for own actions in all spheres of life
5.5 Provision loving direction and guidance as to what are acceptable and non-acceptable behaviors or actions
5.6 Identification and explanation of human feelings
5.7 Identification and explanation of roles in human relationships
5.8 Identification, exploration, and reinforcement of the place of accomplishment, productivity, and industriousness in life
5.9 Encouragement to describe self in positively esteeming terms
5.10 Identification, enhancement, and reinforcement of personal talents, skills, and abilities
5.11 Permission, encouragement, and reinforcement to be unique, individualistic, and distinct from other members of family without negative comparisons
5.12 Acceptance and recognition of search for personal autonomy with no parental resentment, rigidity, or obstruction
5.13 Establishment of healthy physical and emotional boundaries
5.14 Introduction to concepts of natural and logical consequences
5.15 Adjustment and adaptation made on entering systems, organizations, and settings outside of home
5.16 Learning to comply with demand environments such as pre-school, church nursery, day care, play groups, clubs, athletic teams, etc.
5.17 Continuity of Pathfinder philosophy of responsibility taking and self-esteem enhancement advocated within the organizations serving the child
5.18 Recognition of difference between fun and work activities and how to adjust to the different requirements of each
5.19 Support and compassion provided to adjust to reactions of the harshness of outside world pressures
5.20 Reinforcement of creativity, imagination, and intellectual capabilities
5.21 Recognition of capability of being a choice maker
5.22 Recognition of personal sexuality and difference between sexes
5.23 Introduction to concept of Higher Power and spirituality
5.24 Provision of healthy physical affection hugs, cuddling, and cradling
6.0 5 to 11 years
Pathfinders encourage the elementary school aged child to experience the following:
6.1 Identification with peer group
6.2 Achievement of optimal potential
6.3 Intrinsic motivation to succeed at school
6.4 Sense of security in presentation of self to others
6.5 Sense of altruism and service to others
6.6 Acceptance of individual sexuality and difference between sexes
6.7 Ability to share reasonably well with others
6.8 Enforcement of respect for others
6.9 Compliance with social norms, rules, and regulations
6.10 Openness in communicating of feelings
6.11 Participation in and leading family meetings
6.12 Realization that sexual stereotypes are poor determinants for roles individuals take in society
6.13 Acceptance of physical changes in body soon to take place
6.14 Acceptance of warm hugs, physical affection, and caring
6.15 Acceptance of personal role in family, peer group, school, and community
6.16 Acceptance of responsibilities expected at home, school, and other outside activities
6.17 Conflict resolution, sibling rivalry reduction, and mutual cooperation in family
6.18 Recognition as being a person capable of determining own future in life
6.19 Career mindedness
6.20 Appropriate information on realities of world issues and problems to develop a sense of personal place in world
7.0 11 to 21 years
Pathfinders encourage the pre-adolescent, adolescent and young adult child to experience the following:
7.1 Acceptance, understanding, and recognition of autonomy seeking behaviors
7.2 Support and guidance on how to resolve interpersonal conflicts in relationships
7.3 Independence of action within responsible guidelines encouraged
7.4 Acceptance and open discussion of responsible sexuality
7.5 Accomplishment of career oriented educational experiences
7.6 Entrance into world of real work to gain insight into meeting personal survival needs
7.7 Acceptance and open discussion of personal sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation
7.8 Entrance into career oriented academic and training with clarity of intended career goal
7.9 Adoption of healthy lifestyle to promote personal physical and mental health
7.10 Taking charge of own physical and mental health promotion
7.11 Promotion of personal self-esteem by responsible living
7.12 Capability to be honest with self and others in assessment of personal skills, abilities, competencies, and talents
7.13 Ability to openly explore personal problems, concerns, and worries with helpers to resolve resulting emotional unbalance
7.14 Responsible attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors displayed in terms of experimentation with alcohol, smoking, and drugs
7.15 Responsible sexual behaviors with others
7.16 Ability to take over personal nutritional planning and balanced diet control
7.17 Ability to recognize stressors in life and how to overcome them
7.18 Recognition of the appropriate use of recreational and leisure activities in life
7.19 Ability to be a Pathfinder and teach others about responsible living based on personal experience
7.20 Willingness to take personal responsibility for own life without manipulating or hooking others to take over
8.0 21 years and on
Pathfinders encourage their adult children to display the following:
8.1 Ability to live financially independent from family of origin
8.2 Ability to live emotionally and psychologically independent from family of origin
8.3 Ability to handle relationships with significant others independently and responsibly
8.4 Ability to handle career and work problems independently of family of origin intervention
8.5 Ability to raise a family on own independent of family of origin financial and physical support
8.6 Ability to meet personal and own children's and family's survival, security and affiliation needs on own
8.7 Ability to raise own children in a responsible way
8.8 Ability to be Pathfinders to own children
8.9 Ability to maintain healthy personal and family lifestyle
8.10 Ability to not blame parents for personal failings in adult life
8.11 Ability to sustain personal self-esteem and seek support of others when it falters
8.12 Sense of healthy deservedness developed as a result of personal accomplishments, achievements and success in life
8.13 Sense of altruism to share with others in need
8.14 Sense of generativity, productivity and self-mastery as family and work life progresses
8.15 Willingly and responsibly accept and execute leadership roles in family, work, and community
8.16 Conduct life with appropriate coping skills to handle life's stressors
8.17 Ability to be a creative problem solver in face of the challenges of family, work, and community life
8.18 Ability to make an honest assessment of concept of self so as to feel personally valued, accepted, and loved
8.19 Ability to feel worthwhile and "good enough" in facing all of life's challenges
8.20 Sense of optimism and hope by letting go of uncontrollables and unchangeables in life over to Higher Power
8.21 Unconditional self-love and self-acceptance
8.22 Ability to sustain a balanced and healthy lifestyle
The Pathfinder's parenting tasks are only effective in enhancing children's development if they are performed by parents. Pathfinders recognize that it is parental actions, role-modeling, and handling of children which have direct impact on their responsibility taking and self-esteem. There is no definitive delineation of a stage when a certain task must be accomplished. However each task must be accomplished by parents at some time in children's lives. Each task once accomplished must be sustained over the remaining life span if it will have a positive impact. The tasks of parents in the adulthood stage are all aimed at encouraging adult children to exhibit behaviors on their own. The goal being complete independence from and non-enmeshment with their parents. Knowing developmental parental tasks helps parents gauge what is currently not accomplished by them with their children so that remedial or proactive actions can be instituted.