Coping.us
Helping you become all that you are capable of becoming!

 


 
Loading

ANGER System

The ANGER System
Section 2: Tools for Recovery

from Low Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous -

The SEA's Program of Recovery
By: James J. Messina, Ph.D.

The Anger System - for anger workout and emotional release
As you progress in your recovery from the behavioral consequences of low self-esteem, you will need to deal with the powerful emotion of anger. 
Tools for Anger Workout by Jim Messina, Ph.D. contains a variety of strategies for working out the different faces of anger. It is important to use all of these tools during your recovery process. It is important to recognize the course of the anger cycle so you can use the SEA's ANGER workout system to escape this cycle. The typical unhealthy anger cycle is:

When you express anger in your old "sick'' way, the automatic natural response is guilt for hurting the feelings of the person. You immediately feel remorse. You then suppress the anger. However, you still feel resentment over the real or perceived stimulus which prompted your anger. If you are again irritated by this or a similar stimuli, you will express anger again. It is not useful in your recovery process to express your anger directly on people in the old "sick'' way which keeps you trapped in the anger cycle. For this reason, use the ANGER workout system when you get angry.

 

 A Accept
N Name
     G Get it Out
    E Energize
   R Resume

A - Accept
First, you need to accept that what you are feeling is anger. There is often a tendency to deny this powerful emotion because your experience with anger in the past has been painful, hurtful, or disastrous. Don't deny your anger. Face it head on for what it is.

N - Name

Second, you need to name and identify what is getting you so angry. You need to name what it is about the stimulus which is triggering your response. Utilize the TEA and ALERT systems to help you to analyze and think out what is going on to get you angry. You need to identify not only the current anger but also the old unresolved anger that the stimulus may be provoking.

G - Get It Out

Third, you now need to get it out of your system by expressive emotional release of anger workout. Get yourself in a private place (if you can) to use one of the following activities to aggressively ventilate you anger on inanimate objects rather than on people:

Yelling in your head silently

Yelling in a car with windows closed

Yelling in a room away from others

Yelling into a paper bag or pillow

Beating on pillows, cushions, or mattress

Hitting a punching bag, weight bag

Screaming in a vacant field or lot

Screaming with a towel in your mouth

Ripping a telephone book, newspaper, or catalogue


E - Energize

Fourth, once you have aggressively ventilated and experienced emotional release of the anger, you will energize yourself to feel calmer, more relaxed, less anxious, less tense, or less stressed. Aggressive anger work will enable you to be more rational and realistic and better able to use the TEA and ALERT systems to promote your recovery.

R - Resume

Fifth, once you are energized, resume your involvement with the person who was the stimulus of the anger and assertively confront the person with how you feel in a calm, cool, rational manner.