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Marriage Work-Out Team Building


 Chapter 6: Getting Started:

The Marital Status Inventory

Fill out and score this inventory on your own, then share your results with your partner. Read the following forty statements concerning the status of your married life. Read each statement and then rate your marriage as it is right now. Use the following rating scale:

1 = Never True

2 = Rarely True

3 = Frequently True

4 = Almost Always True

5 = Always True


_____1. We enjoy the same interests.


_____2. We feel comfortable about allowing each other time with our own specific

              individual friends.


_____3. We are in agreement about our goals and ambitions.


_____4. We are content with what each expects of the other in our marriage.


_____5. We are satisfied with each other as marital partners.


_____6. We freely chose the number of children that we have (or want) in our marriage


_____7. We agree with each other about the methods of disciplining children.


_____8. We feel that the other is or will be a good parent.


_____9. We agree on basic religious and moral values in terms of raising children


_____10. We have no conflict with teachings of our religion(s) in terms of its impact on

                our married life.


_____11. We are in agreement concerning our religious beliefs.


_____12. Physical or mental health ills do not cause problems between us.


_____13. We accept the way each other handles personal problems.


_____14. We have no concerns about how each other handles anger, frustration and

                controls temper


_____15. We compromise when discussing issues of conflict


_____16. We have no concern about each other’s moodiness.


_____17. Neither of us experiences depression.


_____18. We are not dependent on either set of our parents.


_____19. We are both most alert at the same time of the day.


_____20. We are not possessive of one another


_____21. We are good companions in doing things together.


_____22. We find that we are at ease with each other.


_____23. We are able to talk with one another on an honest and open level


_____24. We know how to fight fairly.


_____25. We are able to express our feelings openly with each other.


_____26. We work hard on our communication with each other.


_____27. We handle disagreements with each other in a loving way.


_____28. We are satisfied with the way in which we resolve our difficulties.


_____29. When we have offended one or the other, we talk it out.


_____30. We avoid doing any hurtful things to each other when we get angry.


_____31. We are not afraid of each other.


_____32. We do not feel pressure to stay in this Marriage


_____33. We have no concerns about each other’s ability to handle money.


_____34. We have enough income to cover our expenses.


_____35. We are in agreement about how we handle our savings, debts, and budget.


_____36. We have no concern about our in-laws causing friction for us.


_____37. We have no pressure from either of our families concerning our current

                partner.


_____38. Neither of us is concerned about being sexually impotent or frigid.


_____39. We are content about the ways in which we show affection to one another


_____40. We are growing together in our married life to a full and rich sexual

                relationship

 

_____ My Score


_____ My Spouse's Score


_____ Our Average Couple Score

To score this inventory: Add up the values of the 40 ratings to come up with your total score. Put your score and your partner's score in the appropriate blank. To arrive at your couple score, add both your spouse's and your score together, then divide by two. Round the average to the next whole number. The following is the Interpretation of the scores on this inventory.


Score

Rating

Interpretation

200-180

Close to Perfection

Congratulations to both. It appears that you have a lot going in your marriage. You should be able to breeze your way through this Marriage Work-out.

179-160

Superior

Keep up the good work. You have a real workable relationship. However, keep your guard up. Don't get lazy or overconfident. This Marriage Work-Out will be a good refresher course for you both.

159-140

Outstanding

You both have some good things going for you, but you definitely need a Marriage Work-Out to enrich and fortify your relationship. You might be getting too flabby about the midline or a little sloppy in your delivery. Get your sweat suits on for a long run.

139-120

Good

You both may need an exercise and nutrition program to regain your marital health. This Marriage Work-Out is for you.

119 or below

Fair

Your marriage may be suffering from lack of nurturing and healthy exercise. Congratulations on your decision to use Marriage Work-out for the purpose of marital nourishment and exercise. Use these exercises to give your marriage a new health and vitality. You two may need marital counseling and support during this time. If so bring your journal, worksheets, laptop or iPad with you to such sessions.

 

The inventories and check lists in Marriage Work-out are not tests. These inventories and checklists are discussion tools.   Each item on them can stand al one as a topic for couple consideration and communication. Use these assessment tools as guidelines for couple discussion. Please do not get hung up on your scores. The ratings of the scores is skewed in the direction of stating the ideal conditions for mutual growth of love in a marriage.  These are ideals that we strive for throughout our married lives. To reach a full ideal is perfect ion. As humans we will be very blessed if we are able to achieve some degree of the ideal. Do not be hard on yourselves or discouraged if your scores on these exercises are frequently low. Use these exercises as self-assessment gauges of the areas where you both need to work harder in order to assist your Marriage Work-out.
Document
Marital Status Inventory

To further assist you to plan your Marriage Work--Out, review your partner's and your individual responses on this evaluation, then refer to the sections of Marriage Workout on Coping.us at: http://coping.us/marriageworkout.html  which will give you two some exercises to address the issues where your differences exist.

 

Inventory Item

Topic

Pertinent Chapters of Marriage Work-out

1,2

Interest & Activities

6,8,10

3,4,5

Role in Marriage

3,4,5,6,7,11

6,7,8,9

Children

2,6,9,11

9,10,11

Religion & Philosophy

5,6,7,8,9,11

12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19

Personal Adjustment          

2,3,4,5,6,7,9

20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,

28,29,30,31,32

Interpersonal Communication

2,3,4,5,6,7,11

33,34,35

Financial

7,8,9

36,37

In-Laws & Parents of Couple

2,3,4,5,7,11

38,39,40

Sexuality

2,3,4,5,7,9

 



Risk Taking is Free

 

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,

To reach out for another is to risk involvement,

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,

To place your ideas, your dream before the crowd is to risk their loss,

To love is to risk not being loved in return,

To live is to risk dying,

To hope is to risk despair,

To try is to risk failure.

 

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, and live.

Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom.

 

Only a person who risks is free.

 

anonymous